Author: Susan

#thisgirlcan

A friend of mine recently posted this youtube clip.

I jiggle therefore I am.

Feeling like a fox,

I kick balls,

Deal with it.

Damn right I look hot.

 

I was stoked. He does such great work (for his take on ethical fashion check out ishivest). He’s a great guy, working on community engagement and participatory democracy in Chicago. He’s also pretty good looking. It made me happy that someone of such calibre was posting a clip about women’s body image. It’s not just any clip mind you; it’s great.

This Girl Can is a women’s health campaign from the UK and I can’t think of a healthier message. It taps into one of the issues described in Emma Watson’s He for She speech at the UN: women and girls opting out of sport because they don’t want to look muscly, are embarrassed about sweat, or the other things that go with being active. But it’s not just that. It’s not about being thin, being good, or winning. It’s about moving and relishing what that does to your body.

I’ve never really felt the fear of sweat or muscle that I hear those women talk about. I’ve never been thin, but I’ve always liked working up a sweat. I jiggle. I sweat. When I’m rocking on the dance floor I feel like a fox. I love to kick a soccer ball; I do it with attitude, even if I’m not very good at it. I enjoy it. Damn right I look hot, I am hot; that’s kind of the point isn’t it, to get the heart pumping?

I’ve never been sporty, but I’ve been a relatively active person most of my life. I loved swimming from an early age: it was my thing, the sport I did as a kid. I didn’t learn to ride a bike till late in primary school, but when I bought my own, I loved to ride it to school. I was a Girl Guide and loved to hike. I loved orienteering. I joined the Army, and served for many years. I used to love running. I tried combatting my fear of heights by taking up rock climbing in the Grampians. I travelled to Africa and climbed a live volcano; that was hard work.

I climbed an active volcano and camped the night on the rim of the crater.

I climbed an active volcano and camped the night on the rim of the crater.

But what I really love about the This Girl Can video is the diversity of subjects. There are women of colour, women with disabilities, skinny women, bigger women, young women, old women. The campaign isn’t about a goal, or a competition, it’s just about moving what you have as best you can. For me, that’s a very empowering message.

A couple of years ago, I had a minor surgery and got a major infection which left me with a chronic, disabling illness. Now, I get auditory overload. I get cognitive fatigue, and physical fatigue. When I fatigue, I have trouble walking, talking and even thinking.

I can’t be around loud noises. So there’s no more dancing in clubs for me. Oh how I miss dancing. I can’t be in a place where lots of people are talking at once, so even backyard parties are a problem. Soccer is out of the question. If I go swimming, I need to be careful that I have enough energy left to climb the three flights of stairs to my apartment. I live alone so I need to leave myself enough energy to be safe and self sufficient. Yes, sex is a problem.

It’s been hard not to resent my body; not to be angry at being trapped in such an unhelpful place. It’s scary. It’s disempowering. It’s upsetting. It’s frustrating.

Sometimes people say, ‘you should keep positive.’ But as our beloved Stella Young used to say “no amount of smiling at a flight of stairs has ever made it turn into a ramp.”

 

Part of maintaining my quality of life and good mental health is re-imagining a positive future for myself, within the confines of my current condition. It’s not healthy to go on falsely expecting everything to go back to the way it was before, if it won’t. No amount of smiling at the Hip Hop club will make me able to go in and dance the night away; or even have one dance without collapsing in the corner, a spastic bundle unable to control my limbs. So I am on a journey; learning to love my body for what this girl, and this body, can do.

There are a whole range of bonus This Girl Can clips. There’s one about a busy mum, one about losing inhibitions. But I really like the one called Grace Vs Pace. Grace rides a bike. She doesn’t wear lycra and she doesn’t go fast, but she goes and I think that’s great.

 

These days, I’m managing my health well enough that I can ride my bike from home to my office at uni. I ride my bike, and I do yoga.  I can’t afford lessons or anything; I have an app on my phone. I just have a little town bike, with three gears. I dawdle my way down the bike path, letting the men in lycra zoom past me. I love it. I love the physical act of cycling, I love the quiet bike path, I love that I’m doing something active, and I love that I don’t need to take the bus. When I get to uni, I open my window onto the oak filled courtyard and do a simple yoga routine. It calms me, it gives me the time to be mindful of my body, and to work it gently, kindly, beneficially.

There is no inspiration porn here, but someone trying to figure out what #thisgirlcan and I love that I’m able to do something good for, and with, my body.

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Do we choose to fall in love, or does it stumble across us?

Do we find The One, the holy grail, like treasure at the end of some Life Quest? Does love stumble across us? Catching us off guard, do we succumb to it? Or is it that we choose to fall in love, having made a conscious decision to leave ourselves open to it?

A friend of mine recently posted a fascinating article from the New York Times about an experiment by psychologist Arthur Aron who succeeded in making two strangers fall in love in his laboratory. It got me thinking.

I have loved men. I have loved men and lost men. I have loved men and pushed them away. I have walked a path with a person dear to me, then decided to part company; deciding I did not want to walk my whole life with them, having realised I did not choose them.

I do not date. I find the contrivance absurdly awkward and painful. I cannot conceive how it could be socially or emotionally beneficial. I have called very few people ‘my boyfriend.’ In fact, I can count them on one hand. I am however, in favour of courtship. I would like to be courted. I like to be courted. To spend time together, to do things, to learn a person, to do things for each other. But where does this differ from friendship? In the modern day, how does such a courtship differ from mateship?

Contrary to the initial perceptions most people have of me, I am not naturally a social person. I am comfortable in my own company, and cautious to trust someone with the details of life required for sound friendships.

However, when I travel, I take a leap of faith. Choosing to become more open to the world, I seem to be able to make good friendships more easily, and to fall in love. Indeed, I have loved deeply and freely, in ways I seem unable to at home. I loved a boy in Tibet, and another in Switzerland. Why is it that I will not give my soul so freely at home? Why is it that I close off my heart?

I loved a boy in Switzerland and saw love everywhere

I loved a boy in Switzerland and saw love everywhere

I am not a fan of fickle affection in this regard. Casual flings are one thing, but to pretend a relationship is something other than it is, frustrates me deeply. I cannot abide the actions of one who wanders easily between partners.

If we are to simply wander the planet in search of the perfect soul to share life with, it seems we are likely to search forever; or that the perfect soul will have settled down with someone else already. And I cannot conceive how a person expects to begin an lifelong relationship by breaking up a prior commitment. How can one build the trust that is required for such a commitment, the trust required to grow together for the rest of your lives?

But when love stumbles across us, how are we to know that a match is sound? How do we know if the match is worth the investment, that love is worth the commitment?

Perhaps we are best served by choosing a partner and choosing to fall in love with them. Choosing to make the commitment, to invest in love. This option is a conscious one in which you need to commit yourself whole heartedly. In order to be honest and true, you need to blinker yourself from the possibility of the ‘perfect soul,’ and dedicate yourself to building a wonderful life with the person you chose. I think there could be something powerful in that, something empowering. Do you think so?

Will one of these women be the next United Nations Secretary General?

Discussions have begun on who will be the next United Nations Secretary General. Ban Ki-Moon has done satisfactory job as Secretary General, with a notable exception. On the anniversary of the landmark Security Council Resolution 1325, the first of seven resolutions on Women, Peace and Security, he announced a High-Level Independent Panel on Peace Operations which did not include gender concerns and was to be undertaken by a 14 member panel containing only three women.

The United Nations has a significant role in achieving gender equality around the world. This year marks the twentieth anniversary of the Beijing Platform for Action, the declaration on equality, development and peace, made at the Fourth World Conference on Women, in Beijing in September 1995. It was a landmark moment for women’s rights that has not yet been surpassed.

Isn't it time a woman was on this wall?

Isn’t it time a woman was on this wall?

As competition for the top job at the United Nations starts to heat up, it seems poignant to reflect on the number of excellent, meritorious women who could be candidates for the top job.

No head of state or world leader has been elected Secretary General of the United Nations. In many ways, this makes sense. In the General Assembly, where the Secretary General shines, it is one country, one vote. The UN is just a collection of Member States who each value their own sovereignty above all else; it is their national leaders that matter. So I can see how it might be odd for them to choose one of their own ‘equals’ to elevate to the top job. It seems UN envoys and foreign ministers are more popular for the position.

This brings us to a key issue of gender and merit. Would a woman with this type of experience be considered sufficiently meritorious? As in any political process, selection is the result of a range of factional and geographic interests. Not knowing the answer to this question, I have compiled a list of highly meritorious women suitable to be the next United Nations Secretary General within the confines of the real political and geographic interests at play.

It is improbable that someone from one of the permanent five members of the Security Council would be elected Secretary General. The P-5 have too much power already, it is highly unlikely that remaining Member States would increase their influence so, counting out candidates like Valerie Amos, Susan Rice and Ségolène Royal.

Three of the past four terms of a Secretary General have been filled by an African. While Kofi Annan’s dual term as Secretary General is still fresh in many people’s mind, there are several highly qualified African women suitable for the role. Notwithstanding the questions of a former head of state becoming Secretary General, Liberia’s current President, Ellen Johnson Sirleaf would be an excellent candidate. With significant peace and security credentials, she is seeing her country of Liberia through an international health crisis of a magnitude that behooves the attention of Member States. Nigeria’s current Permanent Representative to the United Nations, Joy Uche Angela Ogwu, has incredibly good negotiation skills, good multilateral credentials and strong connections to South America.

The former Prime Minister of New Zealand, Helen Clark has been a popular suggestion for the top job. Currently the head of the United Nations Development Program, Clark has overseen an important last push to achieve the Millennium Development Goals. Which, though not without disappointments, have been incredibly successful. Clark is well liked internationally, with sound environmental and social credentials. She gained the latter from the policies and portfolios she pursued in the New Zealand Government, the former from action on climate change during her time at the United Nations. However, New Zealand falls into the Western European and Other regional group of the United Nations. Although it has been some time since the Secretary General was drawn from this group, the region has still had twice as many Secretary Generals as the next most represented region.

Kristalina Georgieva

On the other hand, the Eastern European regional group has not had a single Secretary General. From their ranks, Kristalina Georgieva would make an excellent candidate. From Bulgaria, she is a former Vice President of the World Bank. As European Commissioner for International Cooperation, Humanitarian Aid, and Crisis Response she was responsible for coordinating all European Union aid to the 2010 Haiti earthquake, pushing the European Union to be the biggest donor to the disaster response. She also coordinated the European Union humanitarian response to the earthquake in Chile and floods in Pakistan and led ongoing responses to the food crisis in the Sahel, and conflict in South Sudan. She has been credited with improving co-ordination within the European Union (and within the Commission), and between humanitarian and military players in order to meet the dual challenge posed by expanding needs and shrinking budgets; skills that would be highly valuable at the United Nations. The European Voice newspaper awarded her the prestigious “Commissioner of the Year”. She is currently serving as European Commissioner of Budget and Human Resources.

Coming with significant multilateral experience, Estonian diplomat, Tiina Intelmann would also be a good choice. Educated in Russia, she served as Estonia’s Permanent Representative to the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe before becoming the Permanent Representative to the United Nations in New York in 2005. In 2011, she was elected as President of the Assembly of States Parties of the International Criminal Court, the first woman to hold the position. She is now head of the European Union Delegation in Liberia.

Tiina Intelmann

There are a large number of wonderful strong women from Latin America who would make great candidates. Academic and human rights expert María Perceval has served as Argentina’s Permanent Representative to the United Nations since 2012, during which time they were also on the Security Council. Brasil’s Maria Luiza Ribeiro Viotti, has been in Foreign Service since the seventies with suitable multilateral experience. She served in the United Nations and across South America, and is now the Ambassador to Germany.

I think Michelle Bachelet would make an incredible Secretary General. A qualified paediatrician, she has excels at most things she puts her mind to. Bachelet contested a mayoral election before being appointed Minister of Health in 2000. She then served as Minister for Defence from 2002. In 2006 she was elected President of Chile, the first woman to have the role and the first woman who was not the wife of a previous head of state or political leader to reach the presidency of a Latin American nation in a direct election. In 2010, Ban Ki-Moon announced she would be the inaugural head of UN Women. She excelled in the position but resigned the role in 2013 to again contest the Chilean Presidential election. She was reelected, with her Presidential term due to end in 2018. Meritorious Bachelet may be, but the Chilean economy and influence far outweigh that of New Zealand but Bachelet would carry with her the weight of tensions with Argentina and Peru.

María Ángela Holguín Cuéllar

Currently serving as Colombia’s Minister for Foreign Affairs, María Ángela Holguín Cuéllar would be an excellent choice from Latin America. She certainly fits the more typical career type of a Secretary General. She served as Colombia’s Permanent Representative to the United Nations in New York from 2004-2006. As well as her multilateral experience, she has development and economic credentials from her time at the Development Bank of Latin America. She is credited with spearheading the renewal of diplomatic ties between her country and Venezuela, showing the negotiation skills required for peace building and good office of the Secretary General.

Only time will tell who gets the job next. But it will be interesting to see if one of these ladies is selected.

Make the world a better place this Christmas

Take the time to appreciate what you have. Christmas isn’t just for children. Enjoy your Christmas meal, time with friends and family. Reflect on all your blessings.

Plan in advance; think about the impact of your festivities. I was glad to find beautiful LED Christmas lights last year, so I can enjoy my pretty tree without worrying about an increase to my carbon footprint. Buy Fair Trade chocolate. Take the turkey pledge to know where your bird comes from, what it ate and how it lived. Try not to support unreasonable pork and poultry farming practices. Buy from local, free range producers.

So many people get swept up in crazy consumerism at Christmas. But we forget that we can choose to buy into that, or not. I like to call it conscious consumption.

Make Christmas gifts for your friends and family. There are some lovely ideas out there. Homemade skin care is a real treat, some lovingly prepared Christmas biscuits, or a bottle of homemade liqueur. Fig Jam and Lime Cordial has a great recipe for homemade Irish Cream.

If that’s a bit scary, or you haven’t the time, then shop locally. Buying from small businesses, rather than big corporates will mean someone from your community makes the rent, or gets an extra special gift this year. Buy something from your local potter, jewellery maker, artist, gourmet or nurseryman. Buy something that teaches, grows, nourishes, lasts.

You can also buy great gifts through charities. This year I’ve been watching the great items on offer through Hamlin Fistula Ethiopia, funding the treatment of childbirth injuries and the training of midwives in Ethiopia. What could be more fitting? Perhaps some bullets to beads: Ethiopian jewellery made from melted bullet casings? That sounds like a step toward peace on earth to me.

Give to those less fortunate. Give well. Don’t give second hand items to the drive for refugee children; give something you can be proud of, something you would gladly give to a friend or family member. Put something nice under the Salvation Army Wishing Tree. Contribute something yummy to a local food drive.

Consider giving a financial donation to charity, or a pay it forward gift to friends and family. I gave goats and chickens to my whole family one year. I thought it was a hoot. Of course, Oxfam actually gave the goats to families overseas; as did the chickens. Although, I can think of several families near and far who would more than appreciate baby chickens under the Christmas tree. Childfund’s Gifts for Good also help you give school supplies to children in Vietnam. Have you thought about giving someone a fancy water filter? Splash out and send one to a family in Honduras too.

It may seem a bit saccharine. But you really do have the power to make the world a better place. Reflect on the impact of your choices and choose to behave positively in small and large ways.

Letter to Stella Young

Today I am grieving the loss of a great Australian. Many of us are. It was with great sadness that I heard of the unexpected death of Stella Young. In a tribute piece published today, Stella’s friend and one of my favourite writers, Clementine Ford said with perfect eloquence “she spearheaded a conversation in this country about the dignity and autonomy of disabled people, whom she always maintained were truly disadvantaged not by their bodies or conditions but by a society which insisted on marginalising them.”

I kind of knew Stella in high school. I spent some time at Stawell Secondary College while she was there. I was a few years behind Stella, but I saw her around, and chatted to her a few times. I was mostly too scared to say much, I’d gone through some tough times and was pretty reserved during that time of my life. But she stood out from the crowd, with a personality that demanded to be noticed. We had friends in common. I was very glad to see her rise in prominence for her opinion, comedy and advocacy. I think she was Stawell’s greatest daughter. In 2012, when I first got sick, I wanted to tell her what her advocacy meant to me. So I wrote her a letter. Today, I find myself wanting to share that letter with you all.

 

19 May 2012

Dear Stella,

I have always been in favour of a National Disability Insurance Scheme. But recently, I have gained a new insight into its importance.

As a child, I always had people around me with some kind of disability. The family I grew up with included a young boy with Down syndrome, my primary school was fully integrated and my Girl Guide unit included young people with disabilities. In primary school, I grew up with friends who were deaf, had learning disabilities, and one who was in a wheel chair. I knew and loved them for who they were, and (within the bounds of my young but curious understanding) always tried to be supportive and understanding of their needs and aspirations. When I moved away from Melbourne in my mid teens, I spent six months at school in country Victoria. In Stawell, along with the rest of the community, I was struck by your determination, positivity and productivity in any endeavour you undertook. I have been joyed to see you clearly articulate issues around disability rights and the NDIS in the national media.

Recently, I began suffering neurological symptoms that have been very frightening. The first of these came on very suddenly and left me totally immobile. I was struggling to maintain consciousness and communication was very difficult. Admitted to hospital, I was glad to see my immobility begin to leave, but weakness in my legs remained. This has continued to occur to me intermittently. It is not only a terrifying experience, to become so vulnerable, but I also struggled a great deal with my own dignity. I remember struggling with a bed pan two times in one night, till the nurses said they would put a catheter in me. I was so angry and frustrated, thinking I would soon improve, and be able to use the toilet, if I only I were given the chance. Eventually, I got the hang of it. But found the whole experience terribly undignified, being left alone with urine all over my butt cheeks. I recognise and understand the amount of work a nurse has to do, and mean to pass no judgement there, but mean to merely articulate the importance of supporting those less able in the most dignified manner possible. On one occasion I was able to inform the nurse that I was losing the ability to move and was then left totally alone for three hours with no one to even check if I had choked on my tongue, let alone offer a simple reassurance of another’s company. I was once told to simply walk down the hallway to the nurses station. On another occasion, I was told to swallow my pills, despite the fact that I wasn’t able to move. I remember being stranded in the toilet, with nothing but the smell of my own faeces for 20 minutes awaiting help to get up, flush, and return to my bed. Or having a nurse call a wardsman to help me to the toilet, despite the fact that I needed help pulling my underpants down.

Put simply, while I have always understood the truly basic notion of the dignity of people with a disability, and have supported dignified constructive and tailored support for people with disabilities, I have a new found appreciation. I want to thank you for your longstanding contributions to advocacy and support for young people and people with disabilities. I look forward to those moments when such work pays off.

Thank you kindly.

Sincerely

Susan